I am of the belief that the concept of ‘being positive’ can mean different things to different individuals. Have you ever been told to ‘be positive’, ‘stay positive’, or ‘think positive’, especially when you are experiencing a setback in your personal, professional or health related life? How did it make you feel? I believe it is unhealthy to encourage someone to stay positive without acknowledging their pain, as this causes people to suppress their real emotions and to pretend everything is fine, when it is not.
I frequently share my favorite quotations, self-help books, and affirmations with people on social media. Over time, this has given people the impression that I am someone who is always positive and upbeat. So when I express frustration or react emotionally to a situation, I sometimes hear comments like, “But you’re such a positive person—what happened today?” That’s when I realized that I’ve unintentionally created an image of someone who’s always positive.
I am sharing tips from my recent lived experiences which required maintaining my mental health so I could focus on challenges and find solutions. Please note I am not a clinical counselor and I do not have any formal education to give advice on mental health. These are purely my personal experience and what I have learned. In my first blog post “Six Steps to Daily Motivation” I shared the importance of releasing initial frustration because it is extremely hard to find motivation or positivity if we have unresolved feelings.
This is what I have learned:
Don’t Force Positivity – When I went through a house fire, it was an incredibly overwhelming experience. I felt numb, confused, and upset. It wasn’t about “thinking positive” at that moment—it was more like, “What just happened? Why did it happen? How do I even begin to process this?” Sometimes, it’s okay to sit with those emotions rather than forcing yourself to find the good in it.
Discipline Inspires Motivation – When the mind is cloudy and unfocused, motivation can be hard to find. I find that writing down my tasks for the day and checking them off as I go gives me a great sense of accomplishment and helps clear my mind.
Check In With Yourself – It’s easy to get caught up in our challenges that we forget to notice how we’re really feeling. Talking to a friend, family member, or even a counselor can make a big difference—especially someone who listens without just telling you to “think positive.”
Write Down Affirmations – I have always been a believer of positive affirmations but when I am overwhelmed, it can be hard to write them down or think of them. It takes time to reach a place where I can actually write affirmations. For me it is a practice that creates a positive mindset. Achieving a positive mindset is a work in progress and it often feels like taking one step forward and two steps back. But just as we brush our teeth daily to maintain oral hygiene, we need to nourish our minds every day with positive thoughts. It’s a simple but powerful form of mental self-care.
We all have our own way of coping with stress and the challenges that life throws our way. If you’ve found strategies that work for you, hold on to them. As for me, the practices I mentioned above have helped me deal with some of the toughest times.
